It's been so long since I talked to you! What, like 5 years? How's everything?
Remember when we used to drink down by the train tracks under the Turnpike when we were like, 15? Well guess what: that whole time there was a baby who was murdered by his father buried there! Isn't that funny? It was in the Jersey Journal and everything! Look: I cut it out. Home town pride!
"Using heavy machinery, shovels and dirt sifters, authorities on Monday dug through a brush-covered area under an elevated portion of the New Jersey Turnpike at Merseles and First streets in Downtown Jersey City, but came up empty. Reportedly, Williams said he'd buried the 2-year-old's clothed body there under 3 feet of dirt."
We'd get so wasted we'd ROLL down that ditch! So I guess those were those weird clothes.
So, how's the baby? I mean YOUR baby, not that one. It's dead. Do you still hang out under the Turnpike? Downtown is really becoming gentrified. Remember when we saw that shack and that guy asked us if we wanted to watch TV we could come inside? Well now it's a whole shanty town made of tents and I think he's the mayor. He's doing really well for himself. They've got a flag up and everything. It soars proudly over the cemetary.
Anyway, so I have a blog now. The comedy thing is going great. I played this awesome basement show the other night. They said if I keep it up, I might move to street level one day. Street performers make MONEY!
You should stop by my mom's basement one day we'll hang out and drink and bring that baby! Babies love vodka. My mom needs the computer.