Now I can:
a. Go see your show.
b. Do your show.
c. PARTY ALL DAY AND ALL NIGHT LONG
d. Get hired by you.
It was extremely difficult for me to be at work at 6:00 am to bake after trying to do comedy at night and I felt like a poser.
I gave my boss one-week-notice, but then I guess she flipped out and decided to have the last word and told me not to come in at all and that she was going to post a bulletin on myspace about it, and then she took herself and my old job's profile off my myspace friend list, even though she's too old to be on myspace anyway. So I'm out of a job sooner than I thought. She also tore my calendar off the wall.
If you are hiring, I would like either a job with hours something like 10-6 or a well-paying bartending job where I'll make like $1000 a night and only have to work one night a week. I'll show boobs and knees.
This is my restaurant resume followed by my writing resume. I think I forgot to say on it that I used to proofread the Yellow Pages. IT'S TRUE! Clips are available upon request.
This is my headshot. It is also my Shot Girl/Sports Bar Bartender picture.
MELISSA SURACH
BARTENDER, SERVER
¨ Experienced in bar, food, management, and serving
¨ Fast, reliable server with computer skills
¨ Friendly, polite and attentive
¨ Fluent in English, proficient in Japanese, conversational French and Spanish
EDUCATION
New York University, 2005
Professional Film Certificate
New York, New York
McGill University, 2003
B.A. Mathematics and Statistics
Montreal, Quebec, Canada
EXPERIENCE
Sweet Priscilla’s, Jersey City, NJ, 2006-2007 – Manager, Assistant Chef, Barista
¨ Managed staff and food quality
¨ Created new and original baked goods
¨ Made delicious coffee and espresso drinks
LITM, Jersey City, NJ, 2006 – Bartender, Barback, Cocktail server
¨ Made martinis and art cocktails with wide range of ingredients for upscale bar
¨ Stocked beer, wine, syrups, fruit, etc. for busy bar
Maxwell’s, Hoboken, NJ, 2005-2006 – Server, Hostess
¨ Hosted, greeted, seated, and maintained order
¨ Ran food, drinks, added checks and tax without a calculator
¨ Booked, promoted and managed comedy shows
¨ Managed full section with high turnover from sold out shows
The Liberty Bar and Grill, Hoboken, NJ, 2005 – Server
¨ Greeted and seated guests for extremely busy upscale sports bar with high turnover
¨ Served inside and outside, ran orders and drinks
¨ Won awards for sales
The Hamilton Park Ale House, Jersey City, NJ, 2004 – Server
¨ Served both inside and outside, ran orders, food, drinks, bussed tables
¨ Set up and broke down tables inside and out
¨ Greeted and seated guests
Hoboken All Star Comedy, Hoboken, NJ, 2003 – Cocktail Server
¨ Sole cocktail waitress for 22 tables in only comedy club in Hoboken
¨ Prepared stage for performers and room for guests
¨ Set up bar and made drinks
¨ Ran drinks from multiple bars
.................................................................................
MELISSA SURACH
WRITER, COMEDIAN
SKILLS
>> Knowledge of AP and MLA style, Avid Xpress, Adobe Photoshop, Quark Xpress, Adobe Illustrator, Adobe PageMaker, Final Draft, Microsoft Office on both Macintosh and PC
>>Work well under pressure with excellent writing skills
>>Self-motivated perfectionist, meticulous
EXPERIENCE
>>PRODUCER 2006-Present
BlackHole Comedy Shows
Started Melissa Surach’s BlackHole, the best alternative comedy show in New Jersey.
Ran at Maxwell’s and The Goldhawk, currently running at the premier Jersey City Gallery, fifty8.
Booked acts, promoted shows, hosted, managed entire multi-media production
>> COMEDIAN 2004-Present
Stand up, GynoCult, Jersey City, NJ
Founding member of all female comedy troupe/webzine (gynocult.com) based in Jersey City
Managed content and contributors, wrote articles, designed graphics
Directed, wrote and edited short films, photo essays, and live sketches
As a stand up, I perform around Jersey and New York City.
>> EDITORIAL ASSISTANT 2004 - 2005
BUST, New York, NY
Reviewed manuscripts and organized submissions for women’s magazine
Contributed reviews
Proofread and fact checked articles for final print
Assisted the editors in every step of production
>>PRESIDENT/EDITOR-IN-CHIEF 2002-2003
Red Herring Magazine, Montréal, Québec, Canada
Editor of comedy magazine of McGill University; launched popular sections of magazine; appointed positions; directed content
Doubled production and increased distribution by 150% under the same budget as previous year
Revamped ailing magazine, raised it to #3 publication status on McGill campus (out of ~20 publications), described as “hilarious” and “cutting-edge”
Initiated web publishing on www.redherring.hm
Founded and head writer of a monthly column in The McGill Tribune (the #1 publication)
Organized successful sketch comedy fund raisers in conjunction with local comedians and musicians
Nominated for “2003 Guy Awards: Club of the Year”
EDUCATION
>> New York University/Tisch School of the Arts, New York, NY
Professional Film Certificate, Screenwriting, 2005
>> McGill University, Montréal, Québec, Canada
Bachelor of Arts, 2003
Major: Mathematics and Statistics
Minors: Philosophy, Japanese Language and Literature
>> People's Improv Theater, New York, NY
Screenwriting with Michael Showalter, 2007
>> Upright Citizen's Brigade Theater, New York, NY
Improv Program, 2007
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