Monday, January 26, 2009

BabyHole's Winter Schedule

So I finally got BabyHole's Winter Poster together. It's late because my computer was in the shop and my internet didn't work. I'm almost all caught up on my stuff now.

Feel free to print it and put it on your wall. Then you'll always know when to come to BabyHole!

BabyHole tomorrow night!

Hello everyone,

Tomorrow night's another great big old BabyHole.

BabyHole Open Mic
Tuesday, January 27th, 9:00 pm, Free!

Featuring rock and roll band Plowing Mud Forever. Here's one of their music videos:

Stand up from Sean O'Connor. This is his picture.

Sketch from God Tastes Like Chicken.

Hosted by Melissa Surach.

The Lamp Post
382 2nd Street
Jersey City, NJ

Friday, January 23, 2009

My old vacation

I went on a cruise over Thanksgiving and totally forgot to show everyone pictures of how much I hate the sun and I can't wait until it burns out.

This is what I looked like when I tried to open my eyes on the deck. It's too sunny in the ocean. Someone should plant some trees or something.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Get out of my life, Mercury!

Last week almost everything in my house broke, including my phone, computer and internet. Then I found out that Mercury was in retrograde. Some people (weirdos) think that when Mercury goes into retrograde, communications and technology breaks down. Usually, I think that people who blame a planet for ruining their lives are stupid and irresponsible. And maybe that was true with me for not paying bills on time, but also, Verizon's cable went out and no one would fix it, and a media card burnt out.

Things are back to normal now (although Mercury will be in retrograde until February 14th, so who knows what else will fall on my house). So I can go back to working on my public access show now.

I'm looking for locations to shoot my sketches in. My house looks like garbage, and so do all of my friends', and I have no money to offer, but I'll do your dishes, and the shoot will only last a few hours.

I need a living room that looks like a family lives there. Most of my friend's living rooms look like dorm rooms, but with cheaper furniture, and my parent's house is a dump too.

And I need a coffee shop, or something I can make look like a coffee shop.

Email me if you want to help me or if you are my real friend.


Tuesday, January 20, 2009

BabyHole tonight!

Come and celebrate the USA the only way you can afford!

BabyHole's Inauguration Balls
Tuesday, January 20th, 9:00 pm, free!

Featuring Brooke Van Poppelen (Ms. Killtown, if you remember the fight) and Chesslee Calloway. Hosted by Melissa Surach as Uncle Sam.

And about 8 open mic slots.

The Lamp Post
382 2nd Street
Jersey City, NJ

Thursday, January 15, 2009

My broken computer

Do you know how much it sucks to bring a 25-pound computer to the Mac Store on 5th Avenue and 58th Street in New York when you don't have a car and hate people in general? I do. And it sucks a lot.

First of all, the cab driver was very rude and never even helped me with the computer and farted in the cab on the way there. The ride ended up costing $50 with tolls and tip, which he demanded, even though he refused to let me off directly in front of the Mac Store. And his fart lingered for about 20 minutes.

After almost dropping the computer on the curb because I'm out of shape from basically being voluntarily bed ridden, and swarmed by pasty tourists, I got to the Mac Store and the elevator was broken. So I carried the computer down the stairs, while throngs of people rushed at me rudely.

It was very crowded. I think that there were tourists inside there just looking at the store. The concierge made me wait a long time even though I had an appointment and she didn't seem to be doing anything. And there were tons of stupid people there who needed help putting contacts on their iphones or updating playlists on their ipods. What a waste of space.

Anyway, the computer had to be there for a week or two.

So I guess I lied when I said that my public access show would be ready by January. I got really sick last week, and now my computer will be in the shop for a week or two. So hopefully, by February, it'll be ready to premiere.

And I'll be at Balance giving away Tarot card readings with calendar purchases again this Saturday.

Monday, January 12, 2009

BabyHole tomorrow night!

Hey everyone,

Tomorrow night's BabyHole is going to be a big gay tofu dance party.

Featuring musical poet/vegan activist Leibya Rogers. This is one of her music videos.

And gay hip hop from Soce the Elemental Wizard.

And don't forget that there's about 8 open mic slots.

You better come! I don't have bronchitis anymore. Please stop avoiding me.

BabyHole Open Mic

Featuring Leibya Rogers and Soce the Elemental Wizard.
Hosted by Melissa Surach.

Tuesday, January 13th, 9:00 pm, FREE!
The Lamp Post
382 2nd Street
Jersey City, NJ

Sunday, January 4, 2009

No more after parties for this girl!

I am all messed up on cold medicine and my face is killing me. Why? Because I went to an after party on Friday night. And you know what? I've never been to an after party that I did not regret.

First off, I don't know what it is about Jersey City, but everyone is at least 5 years behind the times. On Friday night, it was more like 15. The DJ kept playing early 90's dance and rap music, like House of Pain, but seriously, not as a joke. And if anyone asked him to play something from this decade, he said he was warming up to it, but never did.

My boyfriend and I danced stupidly and made out on the dance floor really grossly, because I thought that it was funny. That was the most fun to be had.

Then, and I don't know why this is, but there's always some bratty cunt that comes up to me at every after party I go to and says something obnoxious and bitchy to me. This one girl comes up to me while I'm on line for the bathroom and says that some guy told her I said I had a problem with her. I said, "No, I said that you're weird to me." Which she is, because she disagreed with something I said in passing 6 months ago and has been holding a grudge ever since (she de-friended me on every social networking website, I found out last week. What a loser). Anyway, she goes on about how we had a spat, and was about to go on a whiny, bitchy tirade, and I said, "We never had a spat. I don't know what you're talking about. But whatever it is, it's over." Then she looked at me cold in the eye and said, "Pee fast." I wish I said that I was gonna diarrhea all over the seat for her. But I was being too nice, and said, "Ok."

Then the worst thing happened. As we were about to leave, my jacket suddenly went missing. I was wearing a dingy red jacket with cigarette burns. I'm pretty sure that someone took it, because my boyfriend's jacket was still there, and they were together on a chair. And no one could have a jacket as similar to my ugly, out of style, dirty red one. Now I have to get new keys made, get a new had and gloves, and a new jacket. When I asked the guy working the "bar" if he'd seen it, he yelled at me, saying that they weren't responsible for lost things. What a dick. I don't even know why they pretend their stupid venue is legitimate at all.

So I walked home without a jacket, in the middle of winter. Now I have a nasty cold, no keys, no jacket, and more hatred for my home town and everyone in it. The only thing I have to look forward to is abusing NyQuil.