Thursday, June 25, 2009

Melicious Bottomvomit Tiny Preview and Mini BabyHole Promo

This is a tiny preview for my public access show. I can't tell if it's funny or scary. More at Automata Chino next Tuesday.

Melicious Bottomvomit Preview and BabyHole Mini Promo from Melissa Surach on Vimeo.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

New BabyHole Postcard

BabyHole got a fancy new postcard for it's fancy new summer season at Automata Chino.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

I'm sick and so is my pubic access show.

I've been bed ridden for the past three days with either Swine Flu or Strep Throat. I hope it's the former, but if my larynx starts growing fur, I've got some antibiotics left over from my last UTI. Sometimes using Planned Parenthood as my primary health care provider just doesn't cut it, and it's times like these that I wish I had real healthcare. But at least my vag is covered.

I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. I was hoping to spend this week between jobs catching on on video editing and taking more tutorials, but my head's so foggy all I can do is sleep and complain.

I'm planning a prescreening of my pubic access show at BabyHole on June 30th at Automata Chino. Today I'm going to try to finish editing a baby goose montage and post it online, but first I'm going to lay down.

In the meantime, if you need a baby animal fix, you can look at the Jersey City's Live Peregrine Camera. I was addicted to it all weekend. The baby chicks look like they're wearing dresses! And best of all, they eat pigeons.


Sunday, June 7, 2009

My day at the Jersey City Cemetery

The cemetery on Newark Avenue will always have a place in my heart, and not just because I love dead people. I grew up a block away from it on 2nd Street. It's where I met my first shanty town hobo, Steve, where I went on my first date, and where I saw my first sacrificed animal (though not necessarily in that order). I never knew that the place I drank so much malt liquor behind had so much history, mostly because I never saw it in the daylight.

This wall was part of a fortification from the War of 1812. The holes were where cannons were, but I don't know about the weird doors on it. The website says that it was an "an active ammunition bunker and lookout point."

These are some pretty wild flowers that blanketed around the war debris.

Just in front of the wall is the Edge Mausoleum. It's pretty dilapidated, like most things in the cemetery, and if you look in the tiny hole on the door, it looks like it was decimated by grave robbers. But it's unique in that it is a brownstone mausoleum, which may be why it's not completely rubble yet. The Edge family was pretty big in Old Jersey City, and had one of the first manufacturing businesses in town: A gristmill.

Two different perspectives of it:

This hole is next to the mausoleum. It looks like some sort of chamber, but don't go spelunking in it by yourself because you will be crushed. Maybe it's part of the receiving area.

The current issue of Weird NJ, Issue #32, features the cemetery's receiving area. That's where they kept the bodies until the ground thawed and they could be buried in the spring. It also explores the underground tunnels and Underground Railroad connections. You can buy a copy from Grove Street Bicycles.

The Jersey City Cemetery Organization plans to restore it and actually give walking tours inside of it. As a matter of fact, they plan on restoring everything, the crumbled obelisks, the tunnels, the old mausoleums, the old picnic area, as well as making a museum in the old caretaker's house.

There were skylights on top of the reception area. Here's what remains of them. Be careful when you're walking around on top of it. The other skylights are holes, there's sharp debris, and the dirt slopes sharply.

The door of the receiving area had what looked like the remnants of duct tape or old paint in the shape of a cross. Forgive me for accidently deleting it. You can see it in Weird NJ. But the creepiest thing is the fallen tree in the shape of a cross in front of the door. Yikes!

There was lots of wildlife around there. There were fledgling birds in the grass. And groundhog holes to fall into. And tons of starlings, robins, and cardinals. A giant garter snake scared the crap out of me as four and a half feet of it disappeared under my feet into an invisible hole. One of the caretakers told me that they also have hawks and rabbits. If you go there, wear long pants because of the bugs, poison ivy and oak.

I couldn't get a picture of the cardinal. Unfortunately, the best picture I could get was this robin in the debris. If you squint you can see it in the middle.

Part of the cemetery was used as a dump. People would just throw their garbage over the wall. Because of that, and all the people who drink there at night, there's tons of artifacts lying around, especially vintage bottles. I found two bottles of something called "Hydrol," which looked like they were from the '40's or '50's. They had etchings on the side so you could keep track of the ounces you consume. I don't know what Hydrol is, and there's nothing about it online, but it sounds like it would fuck you up. I gave them to the caretaker for the museum that they're building. They could have a drunk display.

I also found a giant "Vibrator Unit." I didn't realize it was made by the Army until I took the pictures home and blew them up on my screen. According to the cemetery's website, it says that the military trained there during World War I and World War II. Maybe this vibrator unit helped defeat the nazis...with orgasms.

This is Mr. Gammel and his wife's headstone. He was the first interment at the cemetery in 1830, but I don't know where the accompanying gravesite is. The stone was resting against another one. The inscription is supposed to be very nice, but I couldn't make it out.

Here was one of my favorites stones, because of the inscription. Though I couldn't find any dead people with a sense of humor here (unlike the cemetery at Key West), at least these people were a little bitter about dying. The Draytons were also pretty big in Jersey City back in the day, but I'm not sure for what.

These headstones were just neat.


Whyte. It's shaped like a log!

And Stone, which looks like an upside down penis. This is an example of the hundreds of fallen obelisks on the grounds.

I'm going to volunteer at the cemetery to help them dig things up. If you go there, and find anything cool, make sure you tell the caretakers and give it to them for the museum. I know they need lots of volunteers with all different skill sets. And if you know anything about it, or anyone who's buried there, make sure you tell them too, so they can piece the history together.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Exciting BabyHole News!

I've been trying to blog for the past week or two, but Verizon hates me and won't let me put up pictures from my trip to the Jersey City Cemetery. I found a giant Vibrator Unit from World War II there and I can't even brag!

Anyway, as you've read, BabyHole is supposed to be on a lazy summer vacation. But that's a lie. It's true that I wanted to take a break, but no one will let me. Jersey City, I didn't know you cared so much!

BabyHole is moving to Automata Chino at starting June 30th. And we'll be biweekly, too.

I love doing the show at the Lamp Post, but Automata Chino has a projector screen so that I can show videos. It also has a stage. Classy!