Friday, August 1, 2008

A day of vomit and tampons

Today, I watched Animal Planet for about 6 hours until my hungover wore off around 2 in the afternoon. I let Dirty Dog on the bed, (which my boyfriend doesn't allow me to do but I do it all the time when he's not here) and Dirty betrayed me by puking up a maraschino cherry (he came to the bar with me last night), parsley, and some grit.

(At the bar last night, we made him doggy cocktails with water, grenadine and cherries, propped him up on a stool, and took pictures of him lapping out of the rocks glass. But that is neither here nor there. I don't have the pictures.)

So my boyfriend found out that Dirty got on the bed because I complained to him about there being puke on the bed. He got angry, so I decided to do some errands that he'd asked me to do months ago. I finished one: sweeping.

I set out to deposit the check I made from selling old clothes. I ran into ReOdorant Joe, who just found a kitten, and we went to his house to meet it. It was the smallest, friendliest kitten I've ever seen, and it was all black. I've wanted to foster kittens and puppies from the shelter so that I can always have a kitten or puppy in my house, but my boyfriend won't let me because he says I won't clean up it's doo doo. He's probably right.

The kitten, Max, hissed at Dirty. Even though it was 4 inches long, Dirty was afraid of it, and kept posturing submissively to it and keeping away. While we were there, Dirty puked twice on Joe's rug, but it was only foam.

When we left, on our way to the bank, I figured out why Dirty was puking so much today. He pooped out a tampon.

After we went to the bank, I bought some condoms and lottery tickets. I got a bag of candy that I ate on the way home.

I didn't get around to working on my website today physically, but I did think about it a little. Tonight we're going out to take advantage of restaurant week. I'm going to wear a dress and change the sheets so that I don't get beaten. I think we're going to Skinner's Loft.

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