Since I started doing comedy on stage about a year and a half ago, these things have happened to me:
-I've received hatemail, both emailed and handwritten.
-I was fired from my job because of the hate mail delivered there.
-I was attacked on stage by this ghetto chick who tried to rip out my nose ring.
-The police have closed my show, BlackHole, down early due to noise complaints at 11:00 pm.
-The police tried to shut the show down indefinitely and ticket me for not having an entertainment license (it would have been $1000).
-Because of my calendar, every pervert in the neighborhood thinks he can talk to me on the street about my personality.
-I can't find a day job to fit my schedule so right now I'm a freelance joke editor for Humor Lab and I make $10 a day, so I can't afford train fare to go out.
-I think Verizon shut my phone off today, which doesn't irk me too much, because I think that the police were bugging it anyway.
-I drink almost as much as I did when I was 16.
Comedy has given me the gift of poverty and local notoriety.
But still, after all of this, I had not learned much about comedy or life until last Wednesday, at BlackHole, where I finally learned that I am a much better performer when I don't wear pants.