Kill My "Friends"

Last night, I went to the Corkscrew for Billy's Open Mic.

Basically, the open mic at the Corkscrew is a bunch of hot dudes sitting around drinking and whenever you want to go up, you can, and I was the only girl there. The best part about it is that there's no poetry, and I was the only girl there. And the alcohol is cheap.

At first, I was concerned that the guys there would start calling me a man hater and stone me, as is my experience in the Heights (Abe). As you know from a previous post, the Heights are not very progressive, and they are 1995 at best.

Since my job hasn't paid me in three weeks, I had only $10 on me, so I couldn't afford a cab home, and my stupid "friends" never showed up, so I was stranded in the Heights. Luckily, Billy lives downtown and was kind enough to let me get in his cab. Thanks, Billy.

Being stranded, I was tempted to call Abe, as I have done in the past at the Corkscrew, because it's by his house, but I am still overwhelmed by hatred, and if I were to talk to him, it would probably just be hysterical shrieking.

From now on, all of my friends are going to be dildos. They'll always give me a ride downtown.