Friday, March 30, 2007

Whiny New York: SHUT UP

Why is everyone from New York such a stuck up whiny pussy?

I met some friends from New York in Jersey City the other night. Basically, they smirked, told tired Jersey jokes, and whined about designer clothes. I was wearing pants that I'd bought in the park for $5 and this is a sample of the dialogue:

New York: Jersey City seems really nice. Is that Town Hall?
Melissa: It's city hall.
New York: It looks like a town. Is this what you call a city in Jersey?
Melissa: I guess.
New York: Do you ever go into The City? Oh, I guess this IS the city for you.

Shut up.

First of all, you live in Brooklyn. Brooklyn is like Jersey City on the East River. I call it Jersey City East. You're probably going to move to Jersey City in a few years when your friends tell you its cool and drive up the rent because you think that $1500 for a studio is a deal and force the locals out as you contribute to the sprawling waspification of Jersey City.

Secondly, you don't even talk like you're from New York. Where's your accent from, TV?

Well, my friend, be glad that I'm here to protect you because are the type of person who gets mugged in JC and I hope that your car gets stolen.

Thirdly, yes, I do go into The City. I've grown up a 5 minute PATH ride from it, I went to high school there, and I'm going tonight to see a show.

I'M FROM HERE. WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE?

2 comments:

Tris said...

ha ha ha. rock!!!

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