Friday, May 23, 2008

Congratulations, BabyHole!

Thanks to everyone who came out to BabyHole Vs. Poetic Voices Superiority Contest. It was a really great show, nothing like the abortion that we were worried about. For once we can say that people would rather go to BH VS PV than chug semen from a wine skin.

And the winner of the BabyHole Vs. Poetic Voices Superiority Contest is...


It was a narrow victory, but BabyHole won with 199 points, while Poetic Voices gained 191.5 points. Go, BabyHole, go!

Highlights of the night include:

My outfit. I wore wrestling shoes, tube socks, bright blue little sports shorts, a red wife beater that said, "Poetry is for homeless people," American Flag sweatbands, and had black football grease paint under my eyes. I raced on stage with a stroller full of baby dolls and did an aerobic routine while shouting "BabyHole! I'm working out my BabyHole!"

The Roland Ramos Band opening the show with psychedelic reggae rock.

After the first three poets did poems about not getting laid, Judge Rustin commented, "If the next poetry contestant does a poem about not getting laid, I'm going to give them all 10 points." (Also, an audience member commented to me, "There's some sad lonely guys in this town.")

Max Michael's angst ridden song, "I think I have AIDS I came on your dad," while wearing a white-beater that said, "Poetry gave me AIDS."

When one of the poet's poems was about how a girl dumped him for a guy who used her and abused her, Judge Cooter and Judge Jesse high-fived each other and said, "We totally did that!"

Some surprises about the show: The crowd was mostly a poetry crowd. The BabyHole crowd always shows up an hour late because they are fashionable slackers. That meant the poetry got the seats, and if you've ever seen a poetry crowd, you'd know that they were weirdos, and on top of that, they didn't donate any money for the show, so even though it was packed, everyone lost money.

Oh well, next time.

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