Dirty had a garbage party last night while we were sleeping.
He had so much fun going through the waste basket in the bedroom, the kitchen garbage, AND the bathroom waste.
I got up to yell at him two or three times, and so did my boyfriend. But, in the dark, he pretended he was sleeping and being a good dog. Then in the morning, his dog bed had a bunch of napkins, a condom wrapper, something that looked like a half-eaten pad, and a box in it. There was also a trail of white stuff around my bed.
I would have taken pictures, but as you know, a Canadian ghost from 1812 broke my camera.
In the middle of the night, Dirty kept trying to get on the bed and he cried for like 30 minutes. My boyfriend says that he probably had a stomach ache. He thinks that Dirty uses used condoms like how fat people suck the fillings out of creme donuts.
He hasn't pooed any condoms yet, but he did poo twine out the other day AGAIN. I think he has a slow digestive system. I don't have any twine, so he must have eaten it before I got him, about 9 months ago.