I've edited 400 jokes today, all of which go something like this:
Homer Simpson's Favorite Ice Cream
Q: What is Homer Simpson's favorite ice cream?
A: Chocolate-chip cookie DOH!
Or this:
The Squirrel Joke That I Don't Understand
A little boy squirrel and a little girl squirrel were chattering and playing around when up comes a fox.
The girl squirrel dashed up a tree, but the boy squirrel stayed on the ground.
"That's strange," said the fox. "Usually squirrels are afraid of me and run to the nearest tree."
"Listen, bud," replied the boy squirrel, "Did you ever try to climb a tree when you were in love?" AS FAR AS I CAN TELL, THAT'S THE PUNCHLINE.
I think that my new job is ruining my sense of humor. Yesterday, Judy said, "My calves are starting to get stretch marks," and I said, "What have you been feeding them?"
I wrote 100 jokes about Microsoft Window 98 and 75 about Bill Gates earlier this morning.
MELISSA SURACH
Hello and welcome to my blog. Here you will find pictures and videos of me being sad. This is my face. I'm crying because I find happiness upsetting.
Dirt Pie the Empathy Dog
I found Dirty Dog a few years ago wandering in circles and peeing on things. I took him home, shaved him, and he's been my furry baby/room mate ever since.
Screamy the Bird
This is Screamy, my room mate and feathered daughter. She can say "I love you," "I don't know," and "Kill me" but her thick bird accent sometimes makes it difficult to understand her. Her favorite foods are Cheerios and birth marks.
1 comment:
I think the boy squirrel couldn't climb the tree because he had a woody. See what I did there? I took the one joke and put another joke on top of it. It's a double-dipper. Enjoy!
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