Blood Blisters, My New Pets

Blood blisters aren't a street gang! They're a feet gang, and they look like this:


That's not my foot, but it could be yours.

I spent most of today tending to my blisters. I had a blood blister on my toe, and a larger, quarter-sized half-clear blister on my ankle, another one on my tattoo, and some smaller ones on the tops of my feet.

If blisters were currency, I bet right now I'd be able to buy some.

The reason I have so many blisters is that I buy my shoes from CH Martin or Fabco. Also, a spider lives in my dresser and bites my feet when I sleep. And when I wear sandals in the park, things bite my toes.

Since the blood blister was black when it used to be clear, I thought it might be infected with staph and so I popped it to release the infection. That's how people did medicine in the middle ages.

When I was looking for a picture of a blood blister, every article I read said NOT to pop blisters, ever, because they're sterile inside but easily grow staph cultures once punctured.

Sometimes I forget that I'm not a doctor.

One thing you should not do is put hydrogen peroxide on a blister. I did that. I had a blister that popped itself, and I applied peroxide to it. The blister refilled itself with peroxide bubbles, turned opaque, and hissed at me.

At least with a tumor, people care about you. I bet if I had a tumor instead of a blister, more people would read my blog.