Monday, August 13, 2007

An Open Letter To Steve Fulop

I don't have any disdain for Steve Fulop. I said I wanted to see him naked. That's a compliment. And most women and some men in this town want it way more than I do. I can think of a few middle-aged poets, and so can you.

I just have a lot of mixed feelings for Jersey City. Most people do about their hometowns.

Basically, I just want Jersey City to stop sucking so much. Is that too much to ask?


Dear Steve Fulop,

In the council meeting the other week and in the fabulous local papers with amazing journalistic integrity, there is an ongoing dialog about how to improve the quality of life in Jersey City. Some people, like Christine Goodman, say that it's the arts, by making arts in Jersey City more accessible, and heightening the over-all fineness of Jersey City arts, while boring fuddy-duddys who don't have any lives say it's "noise control".

But here is my proposition: Being from Jersey City, I've grown up with many losers who continue to come into my life and bring me many annoying conversations. Many of them still live with their parents and talk to me about grammar or high school, though they are pushing 30. Since these people are trapped in the past and act like babies, they are obviously not contributing anything to the City.

Is there anyway we can just bring in a bulldozer and push all the losers out? Can we just make them live in the shanty town by the train tracks so they stop impeding the progress of people who are trying to make progress?

And another thing: I am very annoyed with people in their 30's who act like we live in Jersey City High. Can we just make them overdose on cocaine?

Thank you,
Melissa Surach

PS Can you also do something about my homeless uncle? He really creeps me out. He's a millionaire, you know, but you'd never know that by smelling him!


eno said...

That's right! Goddamn noise makes my life terrible. It's all I can think about. How can I live with all this noise around? We really need a politician that will do something about the noise. It's making the bugs under my skin come out again.

What, me worry? I've got a mental giant on the case.

Anonymous said...

I voted for Manzo.