Friday, August 17, 2007

I'm starting to become concerned and disgusted about the third nipple that I started growing a few months ago.

If you've seen my boobs lately, you'd know that I started to mysteriously grow a third nipple by my armpit.

At first I thought it was just a skin tag. I grew one on my neck that eventually dried up and fell off last year. But the one by my boob is NOT FALLING OFF. In fact, it's getting bigger, and I think it plans on staying for awhile.

Every day that goes by it becomes more nipplish. Now, the skin around it is becoming discolored and more aureole-like. It's even got itself a freckle.

I don't want an extra nipple. I might enjoy an extra hand, eye, tail, brain, or vagina, but this tiny armpit nipple is going to give me body-image issues, alienate me from humanity even further, and force me to purchase custom-made bras. I only have one bra and I wear it to job interviews.

It might not be a new nipple. I don't really know what it is. But I can't afford to go to the doctor and find out.

So it doesn't matter anyway.

And another thing: Whatever it is, I don't think I should let it be in the sun. Guess who's gonna be the lame-ass on the beach wearing a T-shirt this week right after she lost 20 pounds? ME.

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