I've officially challenged those pesky poets to a superiority contest. Comedians from BabyHole will beat the crap out of poets from Poetic Voices with their brilliant words.
When I told my boyfriend about it, he said that it was the worst idea for a show he'd ever heard of. Here, I've written the highlights of his reasoning.
1. It's just a reason for a bunch of sad sack quote-unquote "POETS" to legitimize their delusional standing as a poet, which hasn't been a legitimate profession since restoration France. That's sadly delusional, like calling yourself a Jedi, dressing up your dog in a coordinated outfit or showing someone your wallet sized portraits of you and your Cabbage Patch Doll Family.
2. Since when did "It just sounds fucking stupid" stop being a good enough excuse.
3. It just sounds gay. Like the word "Mingus" I don't know what it means but I think it has something to do with the shit cum residue left on your cock after violent sodomy.
4. If I wanted to watch a bunch of poets "get outside their comfort zone" I'd go to...well, actually, if that happened, I think I would have to severely reassess my priorities in life. Oh, and I guess I'd have to quit chugging semen from a wine skin or whatever other totally gay behavior I'd have to be doing at the time.
5. Dane. I mean, really. Seriously, this guy just getting on stage is a show-stopper. And I don't mean that the good way.
6. I have a much more pressing engagement. I have to take my grandma to Steak and Shake for a Chili Mac Supreme after her Barium Enema at the clinic.
To this, I respond: Maybe I’d rather go out with grandma too, but I think this show is going to be a lot of fun, and on May 21st, me and all my BabyHole friends are going to beat the crap out of all these stupid poets. BabyHole vs. Poetic Voices. May 21st. Toy Eaters Studio. Be there for the blood shed.