To this I responded, "Shut up."
Here is a list of comparisons:
-Larry the Cable Guy's Calendar makes money. Melissa's calendar lost $15 last year.
-The crux of Larry the Cable Guy's Calendar is killing animals. Melissa only kills herself.
-Many of the pictures in Larry's calendar are promos for movies he was in. Many of the pictures in Melissa's calendar were promos for the calendar she's in.
-Larry the Cable Guy's Calendar is cheaper and more durable than Melissa's and the design is more professional. It was also probably mass manufactured in China and available in Walmart. Melissa Surach's Calendar was manufactured by Melissa Surach and is available through Melissa Surach. It is printed locally at an independent printer in small batches. And I doubt Larry the Cable Guy wrote, designed or directed any of it.
-Larry's calendar features poorly or obviously Photoshopped graphics. So does Melissa's. But in many cases, Larry's clothes and accessories are added on like a paper doll. In fact, it looks like he was taken out of a movie and never even posed for a scene. Melissa owns two closets of costumes and is bad at Photoshop so she HAS to pose in a scene.
-Larry the Cable Guy's Calendar is 16 months. But four of those months are in 2007 and you have to look at a visually nearly-incomprehensible and unsatisfying joke of Larry sleeping while a deer eats his food. Melissa Surach's Calendar is 12 months and now she is thinking of adding a half-sized January with an adorable picture like this with a joke like, "This is how Polish people apply makeup. I mean, Polish babies." or something. I don't know I just thought of it now I'll come up with something better.
Maybe Larry's calendar IS better than mine. But he doesn't live below the poverty line.
CALENDAR RELEASE PARTY TUESDAY, JANUARY 8TH, 2008 AT TOY EATERS.
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