Winter had a negative affect on my hygiene. Or does it?

It's too cold to get out of bed. It's too cold to shower. It's too cold to walk my dog.

I just got out of bed a half an hour ago. I haven't showered since Thursday. Dirty will be using a Wee Wee pad at night until March.

I'd be a lot more motivated to move if I actually had heat in my house instead of one space heater.

Merry Christmas, Clams Casino!

Well this week the ecny awards nominees came out and I thought that a bunch of them were crap. Especially for flier design, but also for most of them. I still voted.

This month I've been taking it easy doing shows so I can finish working on my calendar. It's been very slow going, and I've been accused of being lazy. It's not just that, it's because I live below the poverty line and I can't buy all the props. YOU KNOW PUSSY'S EXPENSIVE!

Another problem I have is that it's hard to shoot outside in 25 degrees in cheap, stained, ripped underwear when you're halfway sick. Poor people have chronic illnesses you know.

The Melissa Surach 2008 Calendar Release Party is scheduled for January 8, 2007 at Toy Eater's. The new calendar's half-sized, so it'll be cheaper than last year's. It will have more writing--it's going to be a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure.

I'm really excited for Christmas. My boyfriend and I are going to Atlantic City. I've never been there before. I want to gape at the prostitutes. Remember when they had that serial killer last year?

ATLANTIC CITY.(It wouldn't let me embed.)

(It would only let me embed this one which does not express the despair of the soul and dilapidation of cultural centers that is the New Jersey spirit as accurately.)

New BabyHole Flier

I'm sick in the head...

...because I have a head cold.

I can't stop coughing and I have a headache and sore throat and I feel so bad I have to take NyQuil tonight to go to sleep...

I mean slightly abuse NyQuil...

I mean purposely over dose on the generic night flu medication made in China from Fenny Pharmacy on Newark Avenue.

Jen sent me this graphic today...

...for her show in Brooklyn. I think that usually her face goes in the circle.


Her website is www.jenisfamous.com.

$1 shot in the stomach night

Last night at the bar I work at I introduced my Cheap Shots Menu.

There were 30 different shots, from Afterbirth to Washington Apple, that you could get for $1 and $5 for 7 shots from 7 pm to 8 pm. Then after 8 pm, they were $2.

The people who DID try them said that they weren't nearly as disgusting as they thought they'd be, and that they were in fact pretty tasty.

Obviously, I had to try them all to make sure I knew how to make them right and got their recipes right.

Obviously, now I have a stomach ache from the sugar in all the liqueurs.

Oh Razzmatazz!

Sloe Gin Special

Well, no one responded to my original "Sloe Gin and other Disgusting Liqueurs Special" promotion at the bar I work at.

I was selling drinks with gross liqueurs that are usually only served in shots ordered by frat boys for cheap. Had anyone ordered a Sloe Gin Fizz, they probably would have gotten it for a dollar or a smile.

Anyway, I'm making a drink menu and specials menu for the bar I work at. I'll put it up tomorrow. We'll have holiday specials, hot drinks for winter, an Old Man Drink Menu, and shots specials for a dollar or two, and cheap margaritas.

I'll definitely be selling cheap shots tomorrow.