Late Nite Curiosities

I'm doing Art House's Late Nite Curiosities Halloween show. I'm super excited about. I'm going to do a Sarah Palin/Baby Trig circus act. I'm trying to make it as distasteful as possible. It will, after all, probably be the last time I'll be able to be Sarah Palin, since she fade away back to obscurity.

But I will miss her. She's like the new Britney Spears, the new train wreck. I'll miss all the stories about her newest ethic's probes and mishandling of money and clotches, her ramblings about issues that she absolutely can't comprehend. Sometimes she just makes things up, like her explanation of Barack Obama's socialism, when she said that there would be no ownership under his presidency.

I will also miss the overt racism at her rallies. And I will miss the baby on her shoulder. But most of all, I will miss her bitchy attitude when reporters ask her questions.

Good bye, Sarah. You were fun.

Ghost huntin' around the Square

So I went ghost hunting tonight, and almost got hit by car shrapnel under the turnpike. People should stop drunk driving if they want less ghosts.

There was an accident right as we were coming down the hill and walking under the turnpike. It sounded like the car hit the side and kept going. Some of us saw sparks. We all ran because we thought we were going to get crushed, except for Kerri Pussy Knife, who stopped dead in her tracks, frozen with fear, clutchin Erin, who was trying to flee, and could not fight off Kerri Pussy Knife's powerful grip. I'm glad that they didn't get crushed.

The homeless guy under the turnpike didn't seem to notice.

What's the Exchange Place?

This is the new old video. I shot it the same day as the Pride Festival, but I had to split the idea up into two because it didn't work together.


Hey! It's Jersey City. What's the Exchange Place? from Melissa Surach on Vimeo.

Mini midwest tour

So I'm going to the midwest for a few days in December and I was wondering if you or your midwestern friend would like to book me at your show. I can do stand up or read humorous essays and I'll do any show any where.

I'll probably be visiting Ann Arbor, Chicago, Madison and Minneapolis. I don't know where else yet. I haven't really planned it.

Thanks!
Melissa

I'm a Jersey City treasure!

I posted my video on JC List and all of the reviews that printed were very nice and someone even called me a Jersey City Treasure. It's true! See here!

That's even nicer than when Another Man's Treasure called me "Jersey City's Comedic Sensation" in a pamphlet to get people to go to a reading I did there.

I used to say, "Thanks, Jersey City," sarcastically in response to getting attacked on stage when I used to host the Waterbug. But now I will mean it when I say it.

And yes, I will be starting a petition to force City Hall to give me an award.

Since I got over 200 hits on one of the videos in like, a day, I made a new Outtake and I'll do another one from the Pride Festival as background about Exchange Place today.

I have video of an interview I did with Steve Fulop, but the tape that has the primary audio is messed up and won't capture. I hope I can salvage it. It was a good one.

For now, I'm only working on the "Hey! It's Jersey City." event guide when an event happens. In the future I hope to do more of the travel guide (they didn't seem to mesh well when I tried it earlier). The travel thing will have to be more planned out. In the meantime, I'm going to focus on sketches that don't necessarily have to do with Jersey City.

If you notices that my website is featured on the videos and that it doesn't work, it's because I need to reformat it and I am terrible at web stuff. It should be up by next week.

Groove on Grove Outtake

This is an outtake from my interview with The House of Leaves from the Groove on Grove episode.


Hey! It's Jersey City. Outtake from Groove on Grove. from Melissa Surach on Vimeo.

Groove on Grove video

Hey! It's Jersey City. Groove on Grove. from Melissa Surach on Vimeo.

Thanks for not clicking on my stupid ads.

Seriously, thanks for not clicking on my Adsense ads. If you'll notice, it's been removed because Google is a jerk. Google's Adsense rejected me.

The reason they rejected me is my boyfriend thought that he would be clever and clicked on 100 ads from the same computer at his job. He earned me about $50, but then Google caught on that it was all one person and emailed me saying that I was abusing their program.

But I barely even got started abusing their program. I didn't even make my interns (sisters) click on them from different computers or text my friends.

Thanks, Google.

This week's BabyHole! Sausagefest Contest!

This week's BabyHole is going to be another good one. I don't mean to sound like a dick, but they're all pretty fucking good.

BabyHole Sausagefest Contest
Tuesday, October 14th, 8:30 pm
FREE!

Featuring Leibya Rogers. She's a folk musical poet. Here is an animation someone made of her songs.


And Jamie Lee doing stand up.

And Saint Patrick. I used to cohost the Waterbug with him until I got attacked on stage. This is him doing his cheese song. What's with his hair?


And not to mention about 8 potential open mic space.

At The Lamp Post. 382 2nd Street in Jersey City.

My new video

I just finished uploading the first episode of my fake Jersey City travel guide, "Hey! It's Jersey City." This episode is about the Pride Festival.


Hey! It's Jersey City. Jersey City Pride. from Melissa Surach on Vimeo.

I'm going to start working on the Groove on Grove episode today. The Steve Fulop interview has a problem with the video from one of the cameras. I hope to get it resolved by November.

I AM SARAH PALIN

I was right. Last night's BabyHole WAS the funniest all year. Jerk Practice, the first sketch troupe we ever had, was amazing. My favorite character of the night was the pervy rook in the chess sketch.

And then there was the always-amazing Jessica Delfino, who wore the best outfit I've seen in a long, long time (except for my Sarah Palin outfit, of course).

She wore patent-leather low cut laced heeled shoes, red and white striped knee socks, lace stockings, a pleated plaid miniskirt, a tie dye hoodie and bright red lipstick. I wish there were pictures. She played an electric ukelele and debuted her new song, "I got a Yacht," which is a dance song. She also did some old favorites, like "Don't Rape Me," which is my favorite song ever.

I hosted the show as Sarah Palin. Apparently, I did a good accent. I was worried that I didn't have enough material for it, but then I realized that neither does she. Everyone agreed that my outfit was very Palin (except for the stains, holes and being found rather than purchased), and some said I should wear it every day. Well I intend to. Temp agencies, here I come!

If Sarah Palin dressed like I normally do, barefoot in a dirty T shirt and jeans, would she have won the VP nomination? I don't think so. I've learned something from her. A sense of style. Thanks, Sarah!

I think I might bring Sarah to Art House on Thursday, but I ALSO want to stay at home and watch the debates dressed like her. I don't know what to do!