Trivia Night and Lismore at BabyHole

I've spent a lot of time watching PBS and Judge Hatchett to come up with trivia questions that only I and the Judge may know the answer to. If you prove me wrong, I'll give you a prize.

BabyHole is an open mic for stand up, sketch, musical comedy, etc. Doors open and sign up starts @ 8:00.

Lismore is opening the show. Yes, Lismore.

BYO OK.

The show is free, the PBR is free, even cigarettes sometimes. All I ask for is a donation of at least $5 so that I can get you drunk and take advantage of you.

I did not know how many people grew nipples in their armpits

I did not know how many people grew nipples in their armpits until I began writing this blog. It seems like at least once a day, someone finds my blog with keywords, something like, "Growing extra nipples in armpit," or "Tiny nipples growing in armpit." I can only assume that the reason for this is that many people have a problem with growing extra nipples and look to my blog for further information about it.

I do not have extra nipples, but I do grow a lot of skin tags. Once one grew by my armpit. It got so big, sometimes it would hurt. One day, it got scraped off by a rusty cannon at an old fort. I never got tetanus, and I never saw that skin tag again.

Another keyword that's tracked frequently on my blog is "rape guilt," also "pics of girl's hairy armpits."

I think that if I put more pictures of girl's hairy armpits, I would get more hits on my blog. So that's going to be my new thing. Please email your pictures of girl's hairy armpits to me. Seriously.

Pictures from JC Friday

I was described in the brochures as "Jersey City's comedic sensation," and on JC Friday, March 7, I dressed up in vintage dresses and read my newest humor essays at Another Man's Treasure vintage store.

It was raining heavily that night, and the crowds were small. But I learned who my fans are (for the most part): Artsy guys with depressive personalities who read and write.

Here are some pictures from the night.

Thanks for Not Raping People, Jersey City. I'm being sarcastic.

Last week's fund raiser on March 18th at BabyHole, "Stop Raping People!", was to benefit Women Rising, Inc., and The Global Fund for Women.

I raised the unbelievable sum of $61. It was the least attended BabyHole in history.

I don't know if people were put off by the theme of the night, or if it was because it was the day after St. Patrick's Day.

I guess that now we know how Jersey City really feels about raping people, or Irish people.

If you'd like to donate to these noble causes, you can reach them here:

www.womenrising.org
www.globalfundforwomen.org

Vodkas I am making

I've made infused vodka for tonight's Stop Raping People party. I won't bring them all. (I went pretty hard on the lemon-ginger last night).

Flavors I've made:

Rosemary Apple
Lemon Ginger
Grapefruit
Cinnamon Persimmon
Annis

Stop Raping People Flier

So...I accidentally uninstalled my internet...

...and I haven't found the disk I need to reinstall it. I don't know if I ever even owned it.

In the meantime, I have to do internet work out of the fart-smelling library. It's not a library that catalogues and lends out fart smells. It just smells like farts all the time.

And there's an old Asian guy who comes in every day to look at porn. He is very open about it and not at all ashamed. I think that he's smug because no one's told on him yet. I don't tell on him because I feel bad for him. But if there are no computers available for me, I probably will. I think he has dirty hands.