Ever wonder why I think I'm so great I have a calendar all to myself? The reason is that I'm the only model I can afford.
The final pictures from my 2007 Calendar have been posted on myspace and facebook. Look at them and you can see if you wanna buy the 2008 Calendar.
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Friday, December 28, 2007
Facebook Vampires and Facebook Zombies
I still don't know how to use Facebook. My friend bit me and tried to make me a vampire and zombie at the same time. I don't know if I want to be either. I guess I'd rather be a vampire. My boyfriend believes in zombies and has nightmares and one time he tried to kill me in my sleep.
Facebook is emailist. It won't let me be in the McGill University network because I don't have a valid McGill email address even though there's a diploma on my wall. The only reason I can think of still having a McGill email address four years after graduation is being a big giant nerd. So I guess I'm glad I'm not associated with those losers.
Facebook is emailist. It won't let me be in the McGill University network because I don't have a valid McGill email address even though there's a diploma on my wall. The only reason I can think of still having a McGill email address four years after graduation is being a big giant nerd. So I guess I'm glad I'm not associated with those losers.
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Larry The Cable Guy 2008 Calendar VS. Melissa Surach 2008 Calendar
My boyfriend gave me the Larry the Cable Guy "Git-R-Done Deer Huntin'" 2008 Calendar and stated that it was better than mine.
To this I responded, "Shut up."
Here is a list of comparisons:
-Larry the Cable Guy's Calendar makes money. Melissa's calendar lost $15 last year.
-The crux of Larry the Cable Guy's Calendar is killing animals. Melissa only kills herself.
-Many of the pictures in Larry's calendar are promos for movies he was in. Many of the pictures in Melissa's calendar were promos for the calendar she's in.
-Larry the Cable Guy's Calendar is cheaper and more durable than Melissa's and the design is more professional. It was also probably mass manufactured in China and available in Walmart. Melissa Surach's Calendar was manufactured by Melissa Surach and is available through Melissa Surach. It is printed locally at an independent printer in small batches. And I doubt Larry the Cable Guy wrote, designed or directed any of it.
-Larry's calendar features poorly or obviously Photoshopped graphics. So does Melissa's. But in many cases, Larry's clothes and accessories are added on like a paper doll. In fact, it looks like he was taken out of a movie and never even posed for a scene. Melissa owns two closets of costumes and is bad at Photoshop so she HAS to pose in a scene.
-Larry the Cable Guy's Calendar is 16 months. But four of those months are in 2007 and you have to look at a visually nearly-incomprehensible and unsatisfying joke of Larry sleeping while a deer eats his food. Melissa Surach's Calendar is 12 months and now she is thinking of adding a half-sized January with an adorable picture like this with a joke like, "This is how Polish people apply makeup. I mean, Polish babies." or something. I don't know I just thought of it now I'll come up with something better.
Maybe Larry's calendar IS better than mine. But he doesn't live below the poverty line.
CALENDAR RELEASE PARTY TUESDAY, JANUARY 8TH, 2008 AT TOY EATERS.
To this I responded, "Shut up."
Here is a list of comparisons:
-Larry the Cable Guy's Calendar makes money. Melissa's calendar lost $15 last year.
-The crux of Larry the Cable Guy's Calendar is killing animals. Melissa only kills herself.
-Many of the pictures in Larry's calendar are promos for movies he was in. Many of the pictures in Melissa's calendar were promos for the calendar she's in.
-Larry the Cable Guy's Calendar is cheaper and more durable than Melissa's and the design is more professional. It was also probably mass manufactured in China and available in Walmart. Melissa Surach's Calendar was manufactured by Melissa Surach and is available through Melissa Surach. It is printed locally at an independent printer in small batches. And I doubt Larry the Cable Guy wrote, designed or directed any of it.
-Larry's calendar features poorly or obviously Photoshopped graphics. So does Melissa's. But in many cases, Larry's clothes and accessories are added on like a paper doll. In fact, it looks like he was taken out of a movie and never even posed for a scene. Melissa owns two closets of costumes and is bad at Photoshop so she HAS to pose in a scene.
-Larry the Cable Guy's Calendar is 16 months. But four of those months are in 2007 and you have to look at a visually nearly-incomprehensible and unsatisfying joke of Larry sleeping while a deer eats his food. Melissa Surach's Calendar is 12 months and now she is thinking of adding a half-sized January with an adorable picture like this with a joke like, "This is how Polish people apply makeup. I mean, Polish babies." or something. I don't know I just thought of it now I'll come up with something better.
Maybe Larry's calendar IS better than mine. But he doesn't live below the poverty line.
CALENDAR RELEASE PARTY TUESDAY, JANUARY 8TH, 2008 AT TOY EATERS.
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Wedding Balls
Last night I went with to a stranger's wedding.
Dressing myself, I realized that all of my clothes are hideous, cheap and ill-fitting. My New Year's Resolution is to stop getting my clothes from Grandma's gate sales.
My sisters now tell me that I dress like a 6-year-old girl, which is better than "6-year-old boy," which was last year's style.
Dressing myself, I realized that all of my clothes are hideous, cheap and ill-fitting. My New Year's Resolution is to stop getting my clothes from Grandma's gate sales.
My sisters now tell me that I dress like a 6-year-old girl, which is better than "6-year-old boy," which was last year's style.
Friday, December 21, 2007
Thursday, December 20, 2007
New sketches
So me and Rosie Rebel just started writing sketches. If things go accordingly, expect an entire sketch show about testicles in a month or so.
BlackHole: The Resurrection
Blackhole was the first comedy show I produced, and it got me fired from Maxwell's and got me sent hatemail, and did wonders for my self esteem, etc. I moved it to 58, but it's been on hiatus since the cops kept busting them.
But I talked to Dancing Tony last night and he told me that 58 is getting their paperwork in order and can have shows again.
It's been on hiatus since July, and I was about to give up on it and have a funeral. But now I can have a resurrection party, and maybe on the 2nd anniversary too.
The holidays are such a special time.
But I talked to Dancing Tony last night and he told me that 58 is getting their paperwork in order and can have shows again.
It's been on hiatus since July, and I was about to give up on it and have a funeral. But now I can have a resurrection party, and maybe on the 2nd anniversary too.
The holidays are such a special time.
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