Today I went to my new bartending job at fine dining restaurant with exquisite food. It's located on a marina, in which lawyers and retirees who had lucrative careers reside, and frequented by people who live in million dollar homes in local gated communities. Unfortunately, I have to walk two miles through a swamp to get there.
My uniform consists of a tie, button-down shirt and khaki pants. I bleached out the stained men's shirt from the last button-down job I had, which I coupled with a pair of irregular children's sized khaki pants that I bought on special during a back-to-school sale. I bought the tie from the dollar store last week, and it broke today, so I safety pinned it after I spent an hour trying to figure out how to tie it this morning. However, despite my meticulous primping, it was all undone after walking two miles through a swamp in a rainstorm.
By the time I got to work, slipping on several drowned worms on the puddle-filled path, my shoes were soaked with swamp water and boat gas. My hair was blown out in frizzy red mop, and the skin on my face was blotched and wind chapped.
The most embarrassing portion of my attire was the pants, which were soaked up to my waist and translucent. I had to put my leg up on the sink for support as I spent 30 minutes trying to dry them against the hand dryer on the wall in the bathroom. A coworker walked in and I joked, "I got caught in the rain, I'm not trying to hump the wall or anything!" Since this is a new job, this person is a stranger. "Ok," she said, and backed out of the ladies room.
Unfortunately, unlike me, only two customers came into the restaurant due to the weather. My shoes were wet with swamp water for the rest of the day so I might have a fungus infection, and I made $2 in tips.